purlingswine

This is my horoscope:

This past weekend may have been somewhat intense and filled with sudden changes that you hadn’t planned. You Aquarians like it when the lightning strikes and things get turned upside down. As if you haven’t been through enough, today is a crash-course in your learning process. If you can hold onto what is important to you, then you’ll be able to engage others in intelligent discussions, even if your opinions differ.

As you know, the most exciting thing I did this weekend was to try liverwurst.

Today’s thrill quotient isn’t going to be much higher.

And yet my horoscope uses action-packed wording – intense, sudden changes, lightning strikes, crash course etc.

I am so low energy, I will be lucky to make it through the day without tipping over.

Real Horoscope:

Hey Aquarius, you better get your ass into bed at a decent hour tonight, or you can expect more of the same tomorrow. Good luck with holding yourself in an upright position today. Stay away from sudden movements or operating heavy machinery. Your best bet will be to sit in an air conditioned room. Keep your mouth shut for a change – you’re babbling. Keep the eternal knitting set at mindless as to avoid any future frogging. An even better bet would be to go take a nap.

2 thoughts on “”

You know, there was a game we used to play with horoscopes… to make them funnier… but nevermind that, this is a family blog!

Here’s the ‘scope I have for you (to add to your collection):

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): My hypnotherapist friend has noticed a common theme running through the lives of many of her clients: They take their blessings for granted and underestimate the power their blessings afford them. One client, for instance, seems to assume that everyone in the world is as perceptive and sensitive as she is. As a result, she doesn’t completely appreciate how valuable these skills are, and she doesn’t fully take advantage of the tremendous influence they could help her wield. You suffer from a similar blindness about your own gifts, Aquarius. Luckily, this is the perfect time to change that.