D#1 arrived home on Saturday for a surprise visit! She hatched this plan with her sister. The Boar and I were chatting with his mother (who was also In The Know) at the kitchen table early yesterday afternoon, when in strolled D#1. What a great surprise to see her and it is a real treat to have her home for a few days. She is officially done working for the college at the beginning of August and will be home for 2 weeks before her fall semester starts.

I am constantly startled at the mature young adult she has become. This is more surprising to me than the first tooth, step etc. I suppose because it changes my role – I have gone from Mother/Enforcer to Mother/Adviser and it seems to be an overnight demotion transition. As I have said, it is startling and bittersweet, but also wonderful. I am enjoying these teen aged/college years more than I ever expected.

Although, it is a very bad sign indeed that they are now successfully conspiring against me.

11 thoughts on “daughters

  1. I sympathize with the transition to adviser. However, it pales next to the transition to Parent/Last One To Know About Whatever Major Life Step The Offspring Is Contemplating. In my case, the steps are such minor items as working in a clinic in India for a year and taking a year off between years 3&4 of med school to get a masters degree in public health at Harvard. Just because you and I foot the bills doesn’t mean we get to participate in the decision to any significant degree. (What? Oh, no, I’m not bitter, no…)

  2. Hmmm…I see that scheming is a genetic trait that you’ve passed on! How wonderful that you got that surprise visit, though, and that your daughter is growing into a lovely, young woman. I mean, really, how many girls her age would conspire to surprise their mom with a visit? What a cool kid!

  3. The best part about this transition is that you can be Mother/Adviser and FRIEND in a way that you never were before, too. Even if you had a great relationship with your kids — it changes when they become adults and gain more independence and autonomy. I saw it with my mom and me (and that was kind of rocky in my teenage years) and now with me and mine — it’s weird fun to dream along with Katie about the apartment/house she will one day furnish when she spots the perfect kitchen set in an antique shop… and think about what I have that I can unload… um… I mean GIVE her. ; )

  4. No, you’re looking at it all wrong. It appears that (at least in this instance) they conspired FOR you, not against you. :)

    I have loved the teen years, and I have loved the college years even more than that. My daughter moved to NYC today at 11:30 a.m. At 3 p.m. she called to tell me she had a job already. Just part-time, and just in exchange for a gym membership, but still. You gotta love it.

  5. your brother and sil were also ‘In the Know”. d#1 told us of her plans when she ‘surprised’ us last weekend with a visit. she likes to surprise. isn’t it nice that we all can keep a secret? ;-)

  6. Here’s something else to look forward to. The day will come when you can look at your daughters as fully responsible adults who you both like and respect. Being in their company will feel a lot like being with a good friend. It’s a satisfying place to be. Enjoy them now and know the best is yet to come. (And thanks for comment about my new granddaughter….the best really is yet to come!)

  7. What a nice surprise. We are going through the same transition with my two stepsons and it’s strange but wonderful at the same time. The older one comes home from college and is suddenly the kind of person I would actually like to hang out with instead of nag. His younger brother, though not quite 17, has outgrown his pubescent sulkiness, and now voluntarily socializes with us as if we were normal people instead of alien freaks.

    This change, from about 16 to 19, is absolutely amazing. The driver’s license, the job, the ability to look beyond the next day, it all adds up.

    I think it’s the time when you finally get to see the result of your parenting, because up until then it can be hard to see if your efforts are paying off!

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