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Baptist Bra

   A man walked into the Women’s Department of Macy’s in New York City. He
   told the saleslady "I would like a Baptist bra for my wife, size 36B."
   With a quizzical look the saleslady asked "What kind of bra?"
   He repeated "A Baptist bra. She said to tell you that she wanted a
   Baptist Bra, and that you would know what she wanted."
   "Ah, now I remember" said the saleslady. "We don’t get as many requests
   for them as we used to. Mostly our customers lately want the
   Catholic
   bra, or the Salvation Army bra, or the Presbyterian type."

   Confused, and a little flustered, the man asked "So, what are
   the differences?"
   The lady responded "It is all really quite simple. The Catholic type
   supports the masses. the Salvation Army lifts up the fallen, and the
   Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and upright."
   He mused on that information for a minute, and asked "So, what is
   the
   Baptist type for?"

   "They," she replied, "make mountains out of molehills."

bloggers’ block

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what to write about?  what to say?  I was hoping that reading everyone’s sites today would give a spark of inspiration …. but I got nottin’ !  I see that many of you are doing the 100 things about me lists.  I was considering going that route, but I don’t have the energy …. and some of the most important 100 things about me don’t involve just me and I would feel a bit funny both putting them up and not putting them up.  Would you settle for A Slightly Modified 100 Things About Me?

  1. my name is Ann
  2. my maiden name was Smith
  3. I have been married for 18 years.
  4. I have a good marriage – a really good marriage.
  5. This was not always the case.
  6. For a while there I had a really shitty marriage.
  7. It is hard work having a good marriage.
  8. I heard a quote that  successful marriages are ones where problems aren’t solved as much as they are outlasted.
  9. This strikes a chord with me – beneath the humor is a strong vein of truth.
  10. I was a child bride – not really, but looking back on it I was pretty young (23).
  11. I have two teen aged daughters.
  12. They are wonderful, talented young ladies.
  13. I collect pigs – what started off as a joke has gotten way out of hand!
  14. I love dogs.
  15. I love my house.
  16. I am a homebody.
  17. I like adventures but I don’t like to travel.
  18. I like to read.
  19. I like to have my back scratched.
  20. I am a good cook.
  21. I am a compulsive vaccuumer – with five dogs, I have to be.
  22. My parents both died when they were too young – Mom was 55 and Dad 67.
  23. I have an older brother.
  24. I have many friends – one of my best friends and I have known each other since we were 10.
  25. She sometimes reads this site and then either cheers or puts me in my place!
  26. I think her list of 100 things about me might be different from this one.
  27. I grew up in Pennsylvania, have lived in Michigan and now live on Long Island.
  28. I have a BA in German and Policy & Management Studies with a minor in Political Science.
  29. I have never used any of the above in a field of work.
  30. I am a homemaker with a few stints of part time work thrown in.
  31. I have always had a weight problem.
  32. Even when I didn’t.
  33. I once lost 100 pounds at Weight Watchers.
  34. I worked as a WW leader for six years.
  35. During that time I gained most of that weight back.
  36. I was a really good leader, with large meetings and they didn’t want me to quit.
  37. But I did.
  38. I am currently not fighting my weight.
  39. I am a smoker.
  40. I am thinking of quitting in March.
  41. I haven’t told anyone of this plan simply because I don’t want to hear about it.
  42. If you read this, and you know me, let’s not talk about it.  I will do it when I do it.
  43. I know I should do it.
  44. I don’t like to be told what to do – rephrase: I don’t like unsolicited advice.
  45. I try very hard not to give unsolicited advise.
  46. That is a trick I have learned in my adult years.
  47. I can see both sides of most situations.
  48. This makes my friends a bit crazy when they call to bitch about their husbands.
  49. When I argue with my Boar, even though I can see his side, I still think he’s wrong.
  50. People who know me think I should be doing ‘big’ things – writing novels, opening businesses etc.
  51. I have many talents.
  52. I have no ambition.
  53. I feel very successful.
  54. I am smart.
  55. I am funny.
  56. I have freckles, but I used to have more.
  57. They are fading along with my eyebrows and my lips!
  58. I have one tooth that is a bit crooked and it is bothering me more and more.
  59. I used to think my Mother was nuts when she would go on and on about taking care of your skin and teeth.
  60. I now see her point.
  61. I now see many of her points.
  62. She has been proven correct in so many instances that I now suspect she was a genius!
  63. I was very close to my Grandmother.
  64. She lived into her 90’s.
  65. I would have named one of my daughters after her if her name wasn’t Dorothy. (sorry to all you Dorothys out there!)
  66. All the women on my mother’s side of the family are school teachers.
  67. I sometimes think I should have done that.
  68. I was a girl scout leader for seven years.
  69. I have baked a cake in a coffee can in a fire pit.
  70. I had a deeply ‘normal’ upbringing.
  71. None of my friends did.
  72. I am drawn to ‘zany’ people.
  73. People think of me as the strong type.
  74. I am.
  75. I sometimes resent being thought of as the strong, capable type.  It brings to mind visions of plough horses.
  76. I like horses. 
  77. When I was young, I named my green Schwinn Bike and used to pretend it was a horse.
  78. We own a horse and both girls ride competitively.
  79. I made a conscious decision not to get involved in their riding – I am not a ‘sidelines coach’ type of parent.  I sit and knit.
  80. It has worked out much better that way.
  81. I like dirty jokes.
  82. I curse more than I should.
  83. I know that cursing is the sign of a weak mind and vocabulary – I prefer to think of it as adding ‘flavor’.
  84. I’m all about flavor.
  85. I have a tattoo.
  86. I love it and sometimes think about getting more.
  87. I have some musical talent – piano, cello, harmonica – a small bit of flute, guitar and violin thrown in.
  88. Because of my lack of ambition, this musical talent has turned into a parlor trick.
  89. I’m good with that.
  90. My father was Catholic, my mother a Methodist – we were raised with no church going.
  91. I feel more Protestant and when I do go to church, that is where I land.
  92. I like coffee — strong coffee.
  93. I also like tea.
  94. I don’t floss regularly and sometimes feel guilty about that.
  95. I have a dent in my derriere from when I fell out of my neighbor’s tree.
  96. People often think I look exactly like someone they know.
  97. They have stopped me to tell me so.
  98. I have that kind of face – the kind that is attractive and cute, yet not fantastically gorgeous – the kind that you grew up next to or the kind your cousin has.
  99. I really like my face.
  100. I am a lot like a mutt — even tempered and loyal.

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I spent a lovely day knitting with Peggy and Ricki.  It has been far too long since our schedules have allowed all of us to be in the same place at the same time.  We had some good show and tell – Peggy has been churning out the projects with her latest being some fabulous felted bags.  I will have to give them a try one of these days.  Ricki was busy avoiding working on her Rapunzel and frogging a sweater she knit for her sister.  This sweater has never been quite right and Ricki took the wonder winder to it.  I made some good progress on my Hayden Hat and am up to the decreases.

I have failed to do any bragging about my children — I do have children, not just dogs!  Today’s horn tooting concerns Daughter #1.  She applied to eight colleges and has already been accepted to three of them!  The three she has heard from have rolling admissions – she won’t hear from the others until the spring.  It has been very exciting getting those envelopes in the mail and has turned the nebulous thought of her going off next year into a concrete idea.  This is really going to happen.  egads!  How old am I anyway??!!

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I spent a lovely day knitting with Peggy and Ricki.  It has been far too long since our schedules have allowed all of us to be in the same place at the same time.  We had some good show and tell – Peggy has been churning out the projects with her latest being some fabulous felted bags.  I will have to give them a try one of these days.  Ricki was busy avoiding working on her Rapunzel and frogging a sweater she knit for her sister.  This sweater has never been quite right and Ricki took the wonder winder to it.  I made some good progress on my Hayden Hat and am up to the decreases.

I have failed to do any bragging about my children — I do have children, not just dogs!  Today’s horn tooting concerns Daughter #1.  She applied to eight colleges and has already been accepted to three of them!  The three she has heard from have rolling admissions – she won’t hear from the others until the spring.  It has been very exciting getting those envelopes in the mail and has turned the nebulous thought of her going off next year into a concrete idea.  This is really going to happen.  egads!  How old am I anyway??!!