Sharon started it.  Her post today is all about taking back her time and this topic has been simmering for too long on my own back burner.

Before I begin, let me issue a disclaimer or two so as not to offend anyone …. #1. at this moment in time I have no projects on the needles or even in my mind for anyone other than my immediate family  #2. if, in the past, you have asked me to knit you something and are the kind of person who would devote hours of your day to me if I asked you to, then the following is not directed at you.

Where do people get off asking me (and other knitters) to knit stuff for them?  Is their ignorance of the cost in terms of money and time that vast??

I will allow that many people are unaware exactly how expensive yarn is these days … but no one in the universe is in the dark about how much time it takes!   

Are there any other hobbies that devote so much time and energy to making things for other people? Where the hobbyist themselves feel compelled to engage in the activity in order to make things for other people??  When they feel guilty if they don’t have something in the works for someone else?  Where there are deadlines for crying out loud?!

It’s not that I mind knitting for other people exactly, but I like to do it when the ‘spirit’ moves me.  The fact that I am holding knitting needles in my hands does not make me your mother or your grandmother for that matter.  And when you get down to it, these are the only people in the whole wide world even remotely interested in sacrificing that much time out of their lives for you.

My new response when asked to knit something is to offer knitting lessons instead – this is generally met with ‘Are you kidding?  I don’t have time to knit!’ … which of course only pisses me off even more. 

What are they implying about my time?  Is it somehow less valuable than theirs?  Many of the people who ask for knitted items would never even consider devoting a couple of hours of their day, everyday,  over the course of a week or two to anyone but themselves or their own immediate family.  It would never enter their heads – in fact, they would consider the idea ludicrous! 

Sure I’ll knit you that sweater, how about you come over to my house and tidy up for three hours a day while I do it? 

Would you just blithely ask a woodworker to whip you up a bookcase? or a garden enthusiast to come over and plant a bed for you?

No?  then leave me the *f* alone.

Are knitters the welcome mat of the universe??!!

If you want a hat, scarf, mittens – then go out and buy one!  If what you are really after  is a statement about how much I love you, how important you are in my life, what place you have in my heart – then and only then is it okay for you to ask me to knit for you.  And if you happen to be on the receiving end of such a gift, please be very aware that what you have just gotten is so much more than it appears.  That it would have been so much easier to just shop.  It’s about so much more than the finished product.

Last night was a Spinning Guild meeting.  These meetings are always interesting and fun …. and busy!  There were about 32 members there – the guild president always seems surprised at how many people show up, but so far every meeting that I have been to has had a large turnout.  After a bit of spinning and chatting (with the ever lovely Webheads duo) and then some show & tell, we got to ‘investigate’ a Blue-Faced Leicester fleece.  It is clear that I need to either rent some combs and picks from the Guild (another wonderful thing about membership) or add them to my Christmas List.  As with just about every other hobby, once you get started you quickly find out how much more is involved — last night I learned that there are different methods of spinning based on how the fleece is prepared – ie. whether it is carded, flicked, combed etc.

But the very best thing about last night’s meeting is that I met a lady who gives spinning lessons! Yay!!  It should all work out nicely – she wants to keep her schedule free through the holidays (so do I) and she can give the lessons during the day.

I ordered this pattern and yarn from Elann.  I have had a devil of a time getting the lace pattern through my brain.  My fingers seemed to develop little minds of their own and would not listen to reason!  Various mistakes, which did not become evident until 10 rows into it,  have led to ripping back at least a half a dozen times. 

To add to the frustration are gnawing doubts that the yarn  ordered is really not suitable.  I came down with a case of Peruvian Highland Fever (I really should cut back on my blog reading!), which matches the pattern gauge, but don’t know if it will lend itself to the drape of this design. Despite all the knitting going on, I have only 5 inches of work so far – not quite enough to see how this fabric is going to lay/hang.

what to do, what to do ….. how long do you let a project go on before deciding to cut bait?

In other news, I spent a good four hours toiling over the pine needles in my back yard yesterday and have made a serious dent in my autumnal-cross-to-bear.  We have an outdoor fireplace type thing and I threw a few piles in there to burn.  It is a small fireplace and could never handle burning all the leaves and needles that our trees have to offer, not to mention the fact that it is against town ordinances  in these parts.  I was simply providing myself with atmosphere – much like those air-fresheners that are made to smell like baking cookies. An olfactory sound track as it were.  As I was raking away, I was pining (pardon the pun!) for the days when we really could burn our leaves.  Nothing beats the smell of burning leaves on a cool day …. can you smell them?

I will be outside dancing around the yard with my rake, hopefully tomorrow will have some knitting content.  In the meantime, this was in an email sent to me by my Aunt – I come from a very bawdy family.

The following is supposedly  an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The  answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with  colleagues, via the  Internet,  which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or  endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote  proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student,  however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls  are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving.

I think that we can  safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let’s look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will  go to Hell.  Since there is more than one of these religions and since
people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.  Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle’s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two  possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you", and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is
exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore extinct…leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my  God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY  "A"