A few months ago Daughter #1 and a girlfriend went shopping for prom dresses.  Daughter #1 found one and she and I went back to the mall to buy it.  While we were at the mall, she tried it on again.  She needed to do this to prove to me this was the perfect dress because I was choking on the price.

The zipper would not go all the way up – it was about an inch from closing.  When I held both sides together with my hands, the zipper lined up nice and straight – I just needed another hand to get it closed all the way.  No, daughter #1 did not want the saleslady to help us.  "And besides Mom, when R. and I were here, we got it shut".

What kind of fool am I?

During these past weeks, I have told Daughter #1 she better try on that dress.  She better make sure that zipper works.  She said she would get to it.

After we found shoes to match, I asked again about the zipper.  She knows, she knows.

She tried the dress on yesterday – at 3 pm to be exact.  No matter what Daughter #2 and I did to that dress, we could not get the zipper closed.

The prom is Friday.

Where is the f-ing receipt???

Twenty minutes of me ripping apart my purse and wallet (while screaming) we discovered that the receipt is stapled to the bag covering the dress on the hangar.

I berated her for at least half of the trip to the mall.

Did you know that three days before the prom, most of the dresses are reduced in price? 

If you live on Long Island, do you know about this place?  Don’t even bother with the mall – go straight there.  They have a much, much bigger selection and it is all cheaper than any of the department stores.

Between the hours of 4 and 9 this is what was happening in Ann’s life ….

• drive to mall
• during the tense trip berate daughter for being so lazy
• tell her I told you so
• cry some tears of frustration
• once at mall, discover that every single dress like the one you want to replace has a busted zipper
• return original dress and feel much better about getting all that money back
• find another dress that is pretty, but not as great as first dress
• buy it ‘just in case’
• go to three other department stores and try on loads of dresses
• rush home to take Daughter #2 to her flute lesson
• take a two minute shower because while helping Daughter #1 in dressing room, you discovered that you really, really stink.
• take Daughter #2 to her flute lesson
• get home from that and take Daughter #1 to Estelle’s Dresses
• realize that you have hit the mother load
• find a dress that is just as nice, if not nicer than the first dress
• buy a cool little purse, necklace and earrings
• save $100.
• tell Daughter #1 that when you two are returning the second prom dress, she will be treating you to a latte – a very large latte.

You may be surprised to discover (I know I was) that I kept to my word and started working on Halcyon again!  Truth be told, after I finished the Retro Rib socks I had been avoiding it.  I didn’t want the hassle of trying to remember where I was in the pattern – you know that whole word problem thing!  I am using a magnet board to read the chart, but after sitting around for months, I didn’t trust that the magnets would still be on the correct line.

I also did away with my cable needle.  I am doing some variation of cabling without a cable needle – and it has really sped things up!  Yesterday I got 15 rows done.  This is a land speed record for me and this pattern.

It is a busy week here at Chez Swine:

• Vicki on Thursday
• Brother and SiL on Friday
• Daughter #1’s prom on Friday
• Graduation on Sunday
• Party with about 45 guests Sunday evening

guess I should quit blogging and get to work cleaning, shopping and cooking …..

than me and Vicki??  check out what QuitNet sent me this morning ……

Hello purlingswine! Your Quit Date is:Thursday, March 17, 2005 at 11:15:00 PM Time Smoke-Free:91 days, 8 hours, 32 minutes and 32 seconds Cigarettes NOT smoked:1827 Lifetime Saved:13 days, 22 hours Money Saved:$496.80

In honor of this auspicious occassion, I will pass along two little Internet gems that I have come across ……

a fellow fpug fanatic Purl Up With a Good Yarn shared this nifty random stripe generator.  This is a very cool application and one that will come in handy – I’m thinking mittens …..

and our favorite Snowball shared a fantastic Ebay source for Kid Silk Haze

go now — play & shop!

A newly discovered chapter in the Book of Genesis has provided the answer to "Where do pets come from?"

Adam and Eve said, "Lord, when we were in the garden, you walked with us every day. Now we do not see you any more. We are lonesome here, and it is difficult for us to remember how much you love us."

And God said, "No problem! I will create a companion for you that will be with you forever and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will love me even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish or childish or unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourselves."

And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam and Eve.

And it was a good animal.

And God was pleased.

And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and Eve and he wagged his tail.

And Adam said, "Lord, I have already named all the animals in the Kingdom and cannot think of a name for this new animal."

And God said, "No problem. Because I have created this new animal to be a reflection of my love for you, his name will be a reflection of my own name, and you will call him DOG."

And Dog lived with Adam and Eve and was a companion to them and loved them.

And they were comforted.

And God was pleased.

And Dog was content and wagged his tail.

After a while, it came to pass that an angel came to the Lord and said, "Lord, Adam and Eve have become filled with pride. They strut and preen like peacocks and they believe they are worthy of adoration. Dog has indeed taught them that they are loved, but perhaps too well."

And God said, "No problem! I will create for them a companion who will be with them forever and who will see them as they are. The companion will remind them of their limitations, so they will know that they are not always worthy of adoration."

And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam and Eve.

And Cat would not obey them.

And when Adam and Eve gazed into Cat’s eyes, they were reminded that they were not the supreme beings.

And Adam and Eve learned humility.

And they were greatly improved.

And God was pleased.

And Dog was happy.

And Cat didn’t give a shit one way or the other.