You know you don’t have just any car when they (the car) get mail.  And not just any mail – packages!  Presents!  All kinds of goodies – a leather journal, an interstate bingo game, really cool business cards …..  Onslow loves getting mail!

Snowball??  whaddya think?  a sign from God?

It is smorgasbord of photos here at Chez Swine!

For your viewing pleasure allow me to present a finished Clapotis …. using 840 yards of Berroco Suede.  Still pissed over that yardage issue, but thrilled with the result!

Next up – the result of cheating on blog contests and then leaving all kinds of witty, slightly acerbic comments on everyone’s site.  It would seem that I was the 2500 comment on Margene’s wonderful site. You should go to her site when you are in need of wisdom and guidance – come here for your daily dose of chaos and confusion!  This is what arrived in my mailbox yesterday — thank you so much Margene!

I have been so fortunate meeting many many lovely and interesting people in blogland! Perhaps it is time I gave back to this universe …. after I return from our trip I will work up a contest of my own!

There is a new knitter amongst us!  On the left are Lucy’s (of my comments) talented hands.  Not only does she give great haircuts, she picked right up on knitting!  Lucy swore she couldn’t knit.  That others had tried and failed.  That she was incapable.  Did I believe her?  Did I have faith in her innate talents?  sort of.  How was I so certain that she could and would be able to knit?  My own massive ego knew that I could teach her!  And, I was right!!  **tee-hee – of course you know that I am only joking (yeah right!)**  She also swears she can’t swim.  We will be taking care of that this summer!

A week or so ago, I came across this fishing tackle box.  I do love old metal or wooden boxes and tins — did you notice that cool little tin from Margene?!  Anyway, I fell in love with this tackle box and am using it to organize some knitting supplies.  Do you see my cool sheepy tape measure from Kathleen?

Before I begin I would like to say, "Hey Mindy, did you catch the Daily Show today?  Jon devoted a whole segment to bloggers and the blogging phenomena.  Of course, he was talking about cutting edge political blogs and their effect on mainstream journalism — but it won’t be long for the knit blogs!"

Do you know any mothers who say they love all their children equally?  Do you believe them?  Do you have more than one child?  Do you harbor a secret?  Do you feel somehow different from these simpering women who claim to be as blind as justice when it comes to loving their children?

Well, I don’t love my daughters equally – they move in and out of favor depending on their behavior and my mood.  Of course, being a nurturing, wonderful mother, I make every effort to conceal these whims from my progeny.  sometimes I am successful.  sometimes they like The Boar better than me.  it’s okay.

I do not extend this courtesy to my dogs. 

It has come to my attention that I have not devoted enough attention to my pack of slathering beasts  dogs.  The full extent of my canines.  That I have readers out there who have no idea that I have many dogs – too many dogs.

I have five dogs. 

I have favorites.

Everyone knows it.  Including them I think!

The ones you read about here, no matter how much I bitch and moan about them, are my favorites.  I love them best.  Do not assume that this means they are my best dogs – indeed, they are not.  My best dogs are the ones I ignore — they are faithful, loyal, basically well behaved.  They are in good health.  They are no trouble at all.  These dogs represent all those ‘nice’ boys we should have dated.  These dogs would make great husbands!  They are wonderful – everyone should have dogs like these.

So here they are – the dogs you never hear about – the best dogs in the world!

I pet them, I feed them, I take them to the vet. I throw the ball for them. Their only sin? they don’t have smushed in noses and bulging eyes – they aren’t high maintenance!

I am in the final phase of Clapotis having started the decrease rows.  As much as I have enjoyed this pattern, I am glad to be just about done.  The Berroco Suede is great yarn – it looks exactly like suede – but I am growing impatient of working with it.  It sticks to every little patch of dry skin or callous on my hands, is a bit prone to splitting and for some reason gets twisted as you pull it from the skein and I feel the need to untwist it as I go. Here is a close up. We are going on vacation next week and I hope to have this finished to take with me.

To further my bitching and moaning about this project – and I would like to re-iterate that I have indeed enjoyed knitting it – the problem with the stated yardage is really sticking in my craw.  The pattern calls for 3 skeins with 205 yds./skein.  This gives a grand total of 615 yds.  At this very moment, I am on my 7th skein of the Suede and I am not finished yet.  There is no question that I will be using an 8th skein to finish and I may end up using a 9th! The suede’s yardage is 120 yds/skein. 

Yes, I checked my gauge.  I believe that I got gauge.  I am however open to mathematical errors and am willing to concede that perhaps I am not knitting to gauge.  If that were true, is it possible that I am this far off gauge?  And so are many other bloggers doing this project?  Why doesn’t Knitty put some kind of note in with this pattern?  I can’t say for sure that I would have knit this in the Suede, if I knew what I would be spending in yarn.   Then again, I have stated that I need to get past my whole ‘knitting as a way of saving money’ mindset – which is downright laughable. 

Enough about that – onward and upward.  Here is my Fry Up progress.  It has now officially entered the danger zone here at Chez Swine.  Component pieces are finished – all that remains is to line it and attach the zipper and seam it of course.  It is now in danger of never being finished.  This is the way I operate, it’s nothing I’m proud of.  I also need to run to the fabric store because I want to find the perfect lining.  This project has a lot stacked against it. 

Let me tell you that our Kathleen not only has shit on her shoes, she has shit on her brain. (which, by the way Tracy says is good luck!)  When I showed her my Fry Up she proclaimed that my sausage looked like ‘poo’.  Despite saying it in a very genteel way, she’s a real lady she is, the fact remains that she thinks my sausage looks like shit.  She said it more than once.  She got the others involved.  Ricki and Peggy agreed and they were all sitting here in my den saying the word ‘poo’. Over and over again, ‘poo’!  The size, the shape, the color.  But when you are knitting a sausage, how do you not make it look like ‘poo’?

Where does this leave me? 

Now that it has been said, will I be able to forget it? 

Can I un-ring this bell? 

Will I wander this earth with my Fry Up wondering if my sausage looks like poo? 

Shall I just knit some toast? 

maybe that Kathleen should be the one knitting me some toast! 

go over there right now and tell her!