purlingswine

here’s a line from today’s horoscope: “Expect your thoughts to come out into the open even if they are not politically acceptable.”

I have been thinking of writing this entry and when I read that line, I thought …. what the hell. A few things have been happening around here and I have some thoughts – these ideas are not p.c.

Shall I begin with a disclaimer? I begin with a disclaimer, only because many of you know my Boar and will feel compelled to remind me that he is a wonderful, hardworking man. I know, he’s a wonderful, hardworking man. But a girl can still bitch, can’t she??

Do you remember last week when I told you that Daughter #1 was not able to take her driver’s test because the inspection on my car was expired? Yes, it is my car. Yes, I normally do take care of these things. But deep down, at the very core of my being I think that this is Boar’s fault. He is the man. He should bear final responsibility for the maintence of all things mechanical.

No matter whose it is, who usually uses it or who touched it last -he bears final responsibility for the maintence of all things mechanical. This sentence sums it all up. I should make it into poster size and hang it all over the house. I really would have the perfect marriage if we could all get on board with this sentence.

Do you know that I am the chief lawn mower around here? I have always been the lawn mower. It’s something I’ve done as long as we’ve been homeowners. And everytime I do it, I feel like I’m doing him a favor (the same feeling he gets when he unloads the dishwasher or folds laundry). In the history of our marriage, he has pushed the lawn mower maybe eight times. He once got really pissed that I didn’t check the oil on the friggin thing and the engine siezed. This was when I really started formulating my philosophy of all things mechanical — really anything that uses gas. That’s it — anything that uses gas.

So, it happens that last week Boar mowed the lawn. He mentioned that the engine was running fast – I told him that that hadn’t been happening with me. Did he take care of this? Did anything happen?

I’ll tell you what happened — I go out there on Saturday to mow. The mower is roaring – it sounds like a race car. In the meantime – the lawn really needs to get done and they are calling for rain, so if it doesn’t get done, I’m going to have an even bigger chore on my hands. I decide I’m going to mow anyway.

Boar comes over to investigate and tells me not to mow. With the engine sounding like that he says, the engine could explode.

Is it me, or is he an ass? What magic did he imagine was going to happen while that mower sat in the shed for a week? Grease monkey fairies would come along at the stroke of midnight and fix it?? That I would fix it???

So now, I have to take the mower to the repair shop this week and the rain is on its way. Guess who is going to be mowing the lawn next weekend? I’ll give you two guesses and a hint : not me.