Sharon started it. Her post today is all about taking back her time and this topic has been simmering for too long on my own back burner.
Before I begin, let me issue a disclaimer or two so as not to offend anyone …. #1. at this moment in time I have no projects on the needles or even in my mind for anyone other than my immediate family #2. if, in the past, you have asked me to knit you something and are the kind of person who would devote hours of your day to me if I asked you to, then the following is not directed at you.
Where do people get off asking me (and other knitters) to knit stuff for them? Is their ignorance of the cost in terms of money and time that vast??
I will allow that many people are unaware exactly how expensive yarn is these days … but no one in the universe is in the dark about how much time it takes!
Are there any other hobbies that devote so much time and energy to making things for other people? Where the hobbyist themselves feel compelled to engage in the activity in order to make things for other people?? When they feel guilty if they don’t have something in the works for someone else? Where there are deadlines for crying out loud?!
It’s not that I mind knitting for other people exactly, but I like to do it when the ‘spirit’ moves me. The fact that I am holding knitting needles in my hands does not make me your mother or your grandmother for that matter. And when you get down to it, these are the only people in the whole wide world even remotely interested in sacrificing that much time out of their lives for you.
My new response when asked to knit something is to offer knitting lessons instead – this is generally met with ‘Are you kidding? I don’t have time to knit!’ … which of course only pisses me off even more.
What are they implying about my time? Is it somehow less valuable than theirs? Many of the people who ask for knitted items would never even consider devoting a couple of hours of their day, everyday, over the course of a week or two to anyone but themselves or their own immediate family. It would never enter their heads – in fact, they would consider the idea ludicrous!
Sure I’ll knit you that sweater, how about you come over to my house and tidy up for three hours a day while I do it?
Would you just blithely ask a woodworker to whip you up a bookcase? or a garden enthusiast to come over and plant a bed for you?
No? then leave me the *f* alone.
Are knitters the welcome mat of the universe??!!
If you want a hat, scarf, mittens – then go out and buy one! If what you are really after is a statement about how much I love you, how important you are in my life, what place you have in my heart – then and only then is it okay for you to ask me to knit for you. And if you happen to be on the receiving end of such a gift, please be very aware that what you have just gotten is so much more than it appears. That it would have been so much easier to just shop. It’s about so much more than the finished product.
purlingswine 
Preach on, sister, preach on! I was asked by someone at a party if I would make a poncho for her like the one I was wearing–and she quickly said she’d pay me. I said that it wouldn’t be cheap and that if she wanted to discuss it, she could contact me after the party. No word, which is good, because I didn’t want to feel like a heel when I told her that this poncho would cost at least $300–$30 or so for materials (acrylicky goodness from TLC) and $270 for time…and that’s generous.
Someone else asked me to make one for her kid…and I’d do that for free, because there’s a personal connection, the kid will appreciate it (as will her mom–I made her some wicked cool socks earlier this year), and I was thinking about making something for her anyway. And I wouldn’t charge, unless mom wanted to buy the materials.
I’ve decided to limit my Christmas gift knitting to a couple of special projects per year (moms get shawls this year, grannies next year, and then who knows?) and do whatever the hell I want to the rest of the time. I like knitting for special peeps in my life. It makes me happy when I’m knitting to think that they will be comforted/warmed by something I’ve made with my hands. But it’s something that I do because I chose to do and I don’t feel guilty about saying no.
Whew! Didn’t know I had so much to say!
Testify!
Although we’re not talking about the same time commitment that is required for knitting, I used to constantly get hit up for party cakes when I graduated from culinary school. As you said, it’s one thing when you’re making it for someone you love, or with whom you have that kind of relationship. It’s entirely something else when, say, one of your work colleagues passes on your name to their cousin, who then generously offers to pay you for your ingredients, only to recoil in horror when you tell them what your time is worth, and how much storage space and packaging and special equipment you need to make their son’s Power Rangers birthday cake, or — horror of horrors — the blown sugar bubble wedding cake on the cover of Martha Stewart Living that their daughter just *has* to have. I have been told that I should be cheaper than the supermarket because I have no employees and no overhead! It was at about that time that I figured there had to be a better way to make a living — and to bake a cake.
Stick to your guns, dear ann. Your time and your work are valuable. Save it for the people who deserve it.
Well said, oh brilliantly wise one who encouraged me to buy a wheel. My sister has always been very appreciative of the things I knit her, but she’s about the only one. I get loads o’ requests and now I’m going to say, “Sure! You come and spend at least one solid eight hour day cleaning my house and I’ll knit you a pair of the most fabulous socks you’ve ever seen!”
DOES THIS MEAN I SHOULDNT ASK YOU TO WHIP UP A KNITTED TABLECLOTH FOR MY THANKSGIVING TABLE????
i love my red mittens even though i know they were a *(&^%$#@)! chore to make ;-)
sil
LOVED ALL OF YOUR INCOMPLETE ALBUM PICTURES, SO START KNITTING ME A KING SIZED COMFORTER…OH! WITH SHAMS AND A DUST RUFFLE. THANKS
Angie and Lucy are a couple of wise guys – here I am all in a lather and they put me in my place with their jokes! These two women are among those that I actually would consider knitting a bedspread or tablecloth for! :)
Hey, when are you going to knit that sweater for Murphy? LOL