Listen my children and you shall hear

As you will remember, Cara started a near riot at Rhinebeck.  Running around like a fiber-filled Revere "They’re running out of Socks that Rock, they’re running out of Socks that Rock! Dude." 

Being a good little sheep, I responded to the call to stampede and promptly and frantically purchased $120 worth of sock yarn.  In rockin colors.  You do know that I have only two feet?  Cara had us all in such a frenzy —– I felt rather like Elaine in that Seinfeld sponge worthy episode where she buys all the sponges in sight ……

It’s all good though.  I love knitting socks.  And this yarn is indeed gorgeous.

But wait —– there’s been a snafu.

Are you familiar with Cara’s close call?

How much yarn would you say was left over? 

From that picture it looks like a matter of inches.  And I don’t need to tell you ladies, do I?, that inches really do matter.  agonies and ecstasies can hinge on an inch. 

(of course, I’m using childbirth as a metaphor —– what were you thinking? you skanks!)

okay, back to our feet ladies, our feet.  Or my feet to be precise.

My feet are being slandered.  Is it not enough that I have to endure Kathleen coming over here and calling into question my toe bone?  Now Cara is so intent on defending the parsimonious yardage in her precious Socks that Rock that she is claiming if I run out of yarn it will be my own damn fault because of my ginormous feet.

I see right through her though.  She’s doesn’t really care about my feet.  She has her eye on a bigger prize.

Did you catch that part about being willing to take my StR skanks off my hands?

Perhaps that whole post with the kitchen scale was a ruse.  Imagine if you will ….. our little Cara is happily knitting away on her StR.  She is in love with the yarn, the colors are magnificent.  As she knits, she begins to experience buyer’s remorse.  Perhaps she should have bought more.  What about that one color she didn’t get?  Did Ann get that color?  What about Norma? and Vicki? and everyone else?  They all have colors that she didn’t buy.  What to do?  At midnight a plan begins to take shape in her feverish, phelgmy brain.  A plan so simple, so beautiful in its twisted way.  She needs to relieve the bloggers of their yarn. Just like the Grinch, she needs to convince us Whos that our tam-tuzzlers will not be sufficient to cover our pig-tigglies.  She is a very popular blogger though.  She cannot be seen as anything less than a friendly, creative knitter.  She needs to appear magnanimous in the process …….

she is starting another stampede.  This time a virtual stampede.  Not being content with buying half of all the StR at Rhinebeck, Cara is trying to convince us all that we will barely have enough, that it will be a close call, that we should consider all of our options…..

…..and that she will relieve us of this burden…..

we.must.stand.strong.

repeat after me ladies:  our feet are not too big.  our feet are not too big. our feet are not too big. 

even with the toe bone.

11 thoughts on “Listen my children and you shall hear

  1. This is one time when I am glad to have the smallest feet in the room. Whew! But then again, if you find after the first pair that you need to trade for sock yarn with more yardage……. Let’s just say, I have tons and can get more!

  2. While my brain my indeed be phelgmy, you, my love, are INSANE.

    I WISH I could hatch a plan that good. Really. You give me way too much credit.

    Oh and did you see Carole’s comment? I rest my case.

  3. I wish I’d gone to Rhinebeck and I really, really wish I had some Sock That Rock yarn, but I am too far away. Maybe someone will take pity on me and send me some StR yarn. Sniffle, sniffle. (Is this working? My kids seem to think whining will work, but I’ve never had much luck with it.)

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