So here is the story, such as it is. It really isn’t a story at all, but when I posted that cliffhanger of a question it made it seem like there were big things afoot here at the sty. Only little things, I swear!
I joined a local Y a few weeks ago. The full story is, it is a Jewish Y. I am not sure how it fits in with the larger YMCA organization, if at all. But one thing I do know is that it’s close to my house and it has a nice pool. There is a very funny story involving me joining and Cara.
It was a Saturday when I decided to make it official and join. I had gone previously as a guest of Ricki’s and figured I would just take the plunge (ha! pun intended). This is something of a monumental decision given my past gym behaviors. These involve joining gyms and then not going. So to take the steps to join again is to open myself up to copious amounts of ridicule and eyebrow raising.
But let’s get back to Saturday and me joining. I have had the $$ conversation with Boar. Remember that it is right before Christmas and I have a history with gyms. He is a wonderful guy, no matter what I may say or infer, and has no problem.
I pack up my gym bag and head over to the Y. I am quite thrilled with myself. I actually remembered to check their website for the hours since I have this vague recollection that the Saturday hours are a bit screwy. Sure enough, they don’t open until 1:00 pm. Off I go. Only to find out that they don’t accept new memberships on Saturday. I am welcomed to come back on Sunday to join.
WTF? I call Cara from the car.
“Dude, what did you expect, it’s Saturday?!”
“So what it’s Saturday?”
“It’s a part of the Jewish religion that we can’t touch money on the Sabbath. I can’t believe you don’t know that.”
“How would I know that? Ricki never mentioned it. I’ve never heard of this.”
“Ricki’s not a real Jew. A real Jew would know.”
“What are you talking about? She’s born and raised a Jew and has bat/bar mitzvahed both of her children. And what about you Cara? Never once did I hear you say at Rhinebeck ‘oh no, I couldn’t possibly buy any of your fabulous fibers – it’s Saturday’ Cara, I’m only as strong as my weakest Jew.”
But back to the English Channel. I have been swimming a couple of times per week. As I was typing my last post, the thought entered my head that if I knew how wide the English Channel was, and I know how long the pool is (25m) I could figure out how many laps it would take to get me to Calais. Naturally when I looked it up, I read that it is 150 miles wide and when I did the calculations it completely freaked me out. It took me a moment to calm down and realize that 150 miles is at its widest point and that 21 miles is the narrowest.
Now that I can do!
using this site ……
21 miles = 33,796.22 meters
the pool at the Y is 25 meters. So I have to do 1351.85 laps.
That seems like a lot, but in fact isn’t all that bad. There are 52 weeks in a year so I have to do 26 laps per week. I am averaging 12 laps per session. And I’ve been going at least 3 times per week.
the question isn’t if I will swim the channel, but how many times.
I smell bagels.
“I’m only as strong as my weakest Jew.”
Oh man, what a funny story! I absolutely love it.
So listen, you could join 100 Miles by April 1st and swim your way to your 100 miles.
Yay for you! (or should it be “Oy vey for you”?) Your pool is bound to be much much warmer than the English Channel. And with far fewer ships.
Ok…I’m still laughing about the strong..weakest jew….
Hehehe…ok..So, my Y experience was absolutely wonderful. In the past, I’ve had absolutely awful gym membership experiences. I’d pay a gym for a year and I would visit them maybe once a year. I joined the YWCA on November 15, 2004 and proceeded to go nearly every day (weekdays) for the next 1.5 years. I lost 65lbs. I swam a ton.
Swim away! You can do it :D
you make me laugh… …doesn’t the “c” in ymca stand for Christian or something like that(: so not really a Y ..and the :M: stands for “Men”..anyways you are lucky to have a pool near you where you can swim..ijust signed up for a yoga class this week ..gotta get out of this rut and fit into my jeans.
Good luck with the “crossings” if you’ll do it long enough you make achieve the widest point crossing too!
For your information: these days you don’t need any special website for conversions, just type what you want to convert into google like this:
21 miles to (or in) meters and click enter and you get the conversion right there, it’s so convenient, you can use it for all sort of units and currencies too. As someone used to knit and cook in metric and a complete different set of terms, this google service is very helpful.
Only you Ann!
See, I keep trying to leave some witty and cogent encouragement for you to swim the Channel, and then I hear a voice — your voice — in my head: “Never once did I hear you say at Rhinebeck ‘oh no, I couldn’t possibly buy any of your fabulous fibers – it’s *Saturday*'”, and I lose all sense of composure and propriety and start laughing hard enough to choke on my Mineola tangelo. No, no, Ann, thank *you*.
Fabulous — this conversation is going to entertain me ALL DAY! I can just hear it…
Hey, guess who else just joined the Y? I am not a swimmer, though, but I’ll be pounding the “pavement” for miles and miles and miles.
I can just see you now — our very own Esther Williams!
OMG Ann, even I knew that and I’m Italian & Lithuanian. Evey time I think you’re one of the funniest folks I know, you get funnier. Bless your hilarity! And remember, Jesus saves, but Moses invests.
You are too fucking funny. I’m going to use that line on a dear friend of mine. I’m always the one to tell her it’s her own damn holiday!
Man, you tell stories sooo well! I’ve been thinking about adding some laps before or after my water aerobics class. 36 laps equals a mile at my pool… I’m not sure if I’ll swim the English channel…
Oooowwwch! I just fell out of my chair. I just love NY (and you and Cara, too);-)
I was laughing so hard, my kids had to check and see if I was O.K.
That was just too funny. So did you ever become a member!!!
That is hilarious. I’m sure Cara didn’t buy anything on Saturday! Unless they were Kosher?
i know…how are us gentiles supposed to know the rules if our jewish friends don’t show us the way.