♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an Important meeting and couldn’t find a parking place.
Looking up to heaven he said, “Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up me Irish Whiskey”.
Miraculously, a parking place appeared.
Paddy looked up again and said, “Never mind, I found one.”
♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣
You might think that because this is a knitting blog, written by someone who likes working with and talking about fiber that today’s post would be all about the wonderful spinning class I had yesterday. And it was a great day – so much spinning that I started getting a bit tired and cranky! So much spinning that I shall show you some pictures tomorrow. But for now there are more pressing concerns ….. literally.
On our way into the spinning class yesterday, I felt a dreaded poking. A sharp little poking just under the left boob. You know that initial little metalic poke? It’s the old underwire’s divorce decree ….. it is going to give up the will to support you. But you think that this marriage might be saved – it just about really hurts, but not quite and so you simply tuck that underwire back into its pocket and continue your day. But every now and then it worms its way out in a clear signal that this is no longer your favorite bra?
Well, that is what happened to me. Not a disaster by any means and the spinning lesson was indeed wonderful.
After a full day of spinning, I had to run to Target and while there I decided to take a look at their bras. I have a love/hate relationship with Target’s clothes. I keep making solemn vows to stop buying cheap clothes, because cheap clothes don’t hold up well and don’t flatter and I am worth the extra $$ and all that [cue the inspiring music] But the lure of Target is sometimes too great and now I’ve got an underwire about to come hurtling out of my chest.
I was fairly delighted to see that they carry the Just My Size line. For anyone not in the know, this is a brand for larger women. Department stores do a fairly decent job in their women’s departments, but the hunt for large size bras, panties and even belts is always on. By the way, while shopping with Claire the other day, she was buying bras I had myself measured – you know how we are all allegedly wearing the wrong size bra etc. ……. well the measuring tape said I was a D cup. There is no way. Claire was all ‘no way’, the saleslady was all ‘no way’ and measured again and then said I had to try things on anyway because cups change from brand to brand. WTF?? when are the measurements the measurements. Why the shifting sands??!!!
But back to my tale of two boobs …… So I buy a C cup Just My Size bra, note that it is only twelve dollars and those department store bras were $60 and up and wonder how my delight fits in with my solemn vow but nevermind and end up buying two JMS bras.
It is only when I get home that I try them on ….. I know I should try them on at the store, but I just wanted to get the hell home. It had been a long day.
So anyway, I bet you are thinking that this is the part where I find out it doesn’t pay to buy cheap bras, or that I really am a D cup …… but you’re wrong. Those C cup bras fit great, are comfortable and look great too.
But this is what I did find out ….. in trying them on, I took off the tags and one of them was some kind of prepaid company postcard to reply about my feelings about their product ……. the Just My Size brand?
it’s owned by Sara Lee.
The Mistress
A husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big open mouthed kiss, then says she’ll see him later and walks away.
The wife glares at her husband and says, “Who the hell was that?
“Oh,” replies the husband, “she’s my mistress.”
“Well, that’s the last straw,” says the wife. “I’ve had enough, I want a divorce!”
“I can understand that,” replies her husband, “but remember, if we get a divorce, it will mean no more shopping trips to Paris, no more wintering in Barbados, no more summers in Tuscany, no more Infiniti or Lexus in the garage and no more yacht club. But the decision is yours.”
Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a gorgeous babe on his arm.
“Who’s that woman with Jim?” asks the wife.
“That’s his mistress,” says her husband.
“Ours is prettier,” she replies.
Subject: 15 years of marriage
The husband and wife go to a counselor after 15 years of marriage.
The counselor asks them what the problem is and the wife goes into a
tirade listing every problem they have ever had in the 15 years they’ve been
married.
She goes on and on and on.
Finally, the counselor gets up, goes around the desk, embraces the woman
and kisses her passionately. The woman shuts up and sits quietly in a daze.
The counselor turns to the husband and says “that is what your wife needs
at least three times a week. Can you do that?”
The husband thinks for a moment and replies,
“Well, I can get her here Monday and Wednesday, but Friday I golf.
purlingswine 