bah-dum-dum

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.

My wife asked, ‘Do you know her?’ ‘Yes,’ I sighed, ‘She’s my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn’t been sober since.’

‘My God!’ says my wife, ‘who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?’

And then the fight started…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My wife was hinting about what she  wanted for  our upcoming anniversary.  She said, ‘I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3  seconds.’

I bought her a  scale.

And then the fight started…

Advertisements

a midlife chuckle

click on these to embiggen.

young & beautiful, someday your looks will be gone ……

A blonde heard that milk baths would make her beautiful. She left a note for her milkman to leave 25 gallons of milk When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 2.5 gallons. So he knocked on the door to clarify the point.

The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, ‘I found your note asking me to leave 25 gallons of milk. Did you mean 2.5 gallons?’

The blonde said, ‘I want 25 gallons. I’m going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath so I can look young and beautiful again.’

The milkman asked, ‘Do you want it pasteurized?’

The blonde said, ‘No, just up to my tits. I can splash it on my face.’

******************************

any guesses as to the title of this post? I was aiming for some ear worms, but Cara didn’t get it.

it wasn’t Maryland, but Huntington had its own, lovely Sheep to Shawl Festival here on Sunday. And what a glorious day it was!

First off, the weather, which was supposed to be gray and rainy was anything but. It was sunny & glorious! Many Long Island guilds participated, including my own favorite spinning guild. Also present were the rug hookers, bobbin lace makers, knitters, tatter (almost said taters!) and weavers. Live music was provided by a trio of musicians and there were pony rides, antiques,food and lots of general gaiety. I even managed to learn some drop spindling techniques!

I really enjoy doing spinning demonstrations at these festivals. What a great way to spend the day – spinning with friends!

One of our guild members, Tabbethia is a professional shearer/alpaca and llama breader and shower and here she is giving one of three demonstrations.

So keep this in mind for next year – if Maryland is too far, Long Island is right here!

Did you get caught up in the weffriddles mania? I got to Level 10 and then realized – if I keep wasting time working hard to solve these riddles, my reward is ……. more riddles. f* that.

Here is something I find far more entertaining ……. check out how the snowman changes as your answers change! (love the Martha Stewart one)

Holiday Party Excuse Generator!

and a big thank you to Beancounter for showing me the true meaning of internet diversion!

you can go home again!

What American accent do you have?

Your Result: Philadelphia

 

Your accent is as Philadelphian as a cheesesteak! If you’re not from Philadelphia, then you’re from someplace near there like south Jersey, Baltimore, or Wilmington. if you’ve ever journeyed to some far off place where people don’t know that Philly has an accent, someone may have thought you talked a little weird even though they didn’t have a clue what accent it was they heard.

The Northeast

 

The Midland

 

The Inland North

 

The South

 

Boston

 

The West

 

North Central

 

What American accent do you have?
Take More Quizzes

[thanks Maryse!]

I grew up in the Philly suburbs. I went to college in PA. However I have reached the tipping point age where I have spent exactly half of my life not living “at home” anymore. I figured I didn’t have that accent – I wondered if I ever did. Nowadays when I talk to friends living in that area, or listen to someone on the radio or television I can hear that accent. I thought for sure that meant I didn’t have one anymore …… this makes me oddly happy!

maybe I’m just relieved I don’t tawk like a New Yawker.