My dear friend Claire believes that I post too many Italian jokes. So she has sent along these doozies.
For the record, I would like to point out not only am I married to an Italian and have spawned two Italians, that my romantic past is littered with the broken hearts of Italian darlings. oooo, Claire Dear, is it offensive to say littered when Italian hearts are at stake? and Cara & Jen, you know that when I say littered, I am speaking metaphorically?? I threw their love away like so many pretzel crumbs out the car window! sure and begorrah, I love me some good Italian!
Also, I made some Jaywalker progress but then got kicked to the curb and had to rip, so jokes are all I got!
All we ever hear are Jewish jokes, so here are some Gentile jokes:
A Gentile goes into a clothing store and says,”This
is a very fine jacket. How much is it?”
The salesman says, “It’s $500.”
The Gentile says, “OK, I’ll take it.”
Two Gentiles meet on the street.
The first one says,”You own your own business, don’t you? How’s it going?”
The other Gentile says, “Just great! Thanks for asking!”
Two Gentile mothers meet on the street and start talking about children.
Gentile mother 1 (said with pride): “My son is a construction worker!”
Gentile mother 2 (said with more pride): “My son is a truck driver!”
A gentile man calls his mother and says, “Mother, I know you’re expecting me for dinner this evening,
but something important has come up and I can’t make it.”
His mother says, “OK.”
A Gentile couple goes to a nice restaurant.
The man says: “I’ll have the steak and a baked potato, and my wife will have the julienne salad with house
dressing. We’ll both have coffee.”
The waiter says, “How would you like your steak and salad prepared?”
The man says, “I’d like the steak medium……the salad is fine as is.”
The waiter says, ” Thank you.”
A Gentile man calls his elderly mother.
He asks, ” Mom, how are you feeling? Do you need anything?”
She says, “I’m feeling fine, and I don’t need anything. Thanks for calling.”
Well, I for one am married to a gentile and I’m extremely offended. Who knew he was so boring?!
Signed,
The Litter Force
Point taken.
Did you know that Utah is the only place you can be Jewish and a Gentile?
Funny in a mild cheese sort of way!
Hey! You can’t fool me! These are more Jewish jokes! But funny!
love from A Gentile Jewish Mother
(You Don’t Call, You Don’t Write/Please Stop Calling Me All the Time and Writing Me Incessantly)
Let me try one, based on personal experience and observation:
A Gentile goes to visit a friend.
Friend: Hi, come on in, would you like something to eat?
Gentile: No, thanks, I just ate.
I could do this all day! xox Kay
Is it my degree in theology that makes it difficult for me to get those?
This is wildly funny in a gentile sort of way.
A gentile walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender gives it to him.
I don’t get it. So sad. Maybe this one works?
Why did the Gentile fall out of the tree?
Because he was dead.
(it’s a recycled monkey joke)
Hey – did you know that I was once married to a bona fide italian? I picked him up as my souvenier in Rome at age 19. My parents just about flipped. Don’t let Vicki read this message! :)