I have recovered from my shock of yesterday.  I have been thinking a lot about what happened and what to do next.

My first impulse was to throw the f*cker out.  How gross was that story?  I had many comments telling me that that was indeed what I should do.  There is no amount of Tilex in the world to make this okay.

This morning however, I am having a brainstorm.

Normally when I find things that are the littlest bit close to being ‘antique’, I will not mess with them in anyway.  I bring them home and wash them off.  No paint – no nothing.  I use them as is.  I hate to take away from their intrinsic value.

This milkbox however will either be messed with or put into the trash.  I need to restore its value ….

Therefore, I propose to drill holes in the bottom, fill it with dirt and turn it into a planter! 

The more I think about this the better I like the idea.  At this point, the shit is cleaned out.  If I throw it away, someone else will discover it and have a ‘find’.  How disgusting would that be??  Some poor schmo coming along and seeing this ‘prize’ completely unaware of its history.  Perhaps even putting their hands into it?  eeewwww   

Furthermore, I have chamberpots in my house – on display no less.  I have paid money for these piss jugs.  I love them, I have more than one. I even put flowers in them and use them as a centerpiece on my dining room table!   So what if it’s antique piss?  does that make a difference?    well yes, it does …. but anyway ….

I have been through the worst of this, why not make some lemonade as it were?

Life handed me something with the shit already at the bottom — I’m planting geraniums baby!

ps.  don’t worry I haven’t completely lost my mind, this little fecal find will never make it past the front porch.

Main Entry: Pol·ly·an·na
Pronunciation: "pä-lE-‘a-n&
Function: noun
Etymology: Pollyanna, heroine of the novel Pollyanna (1913) by Eleanor Porter †1920 American fiction writer
Date: 1921
: a person characterized by irrepressible optimism and a tendency to find good in everything
– Pollyanna adjective
– Pol·ly·an·na·ish /-‘a-n&-ish/ also Pol.ly.an.nish adjective

does it seem like life is bucolic here at Chez Swine?  that it’s all weekends spent frolicking with dyes, days spent knitting and woodlands filled with lunaria?

do you hate me for it?

well, here is your chance to cackle with glee.

this story is so gross, so totally disgusting that I actually threw up a little bit as it was happening.   if you have a weak stomach you may want to leave now.  I am not joking.

Continue reading →

…post picture of flowers.  At least that’s what Chelsea says we are to be doing.

Here is a picture of Lunaria growing wild.  I took this shot at the dyeing workshop this weekend.  Lunaria is more commonly known as money plant or honesty – and is also more commonly recognized for its seedpods (if you follow that link you will see a picture of the seed pods).  I have some of this growing in the woody areas of my property.

I had a fantastic weekend.  My spinning guild offered a two day dyeing workshop with Rita Schwab and I was able to take part. 

First off, it was held at a place called Clement’s Farm.  This is the kind of spot you don’t think still exists on Long Island.  It is privately owned and our guild was able to use the property.  There are fields all around it and a cooperative organic farm at the end of the long driveway.

 

We learned the process of natural dyeing – starting with the mordant. Then we went about extracting the dye from the vegetable material and after that, the fun of actual dyeing.  We worked over open fires.

Rita explained that most dyers use hot plates or their stove tops, but that during her workshops she likes to take the historical approach.  As recently as 200 years ago, this is how fabric was dyed and the work fell to the women.  it’s good not to be a sweet-old-fashioned-girl. 

Now, I love me a good campfire – the snap, crackle & pop and especially the smell.  I like to sit near them.  Operative word there is sit! Once the wool was set into a dye pot, it needed to simmer.  This required a great shifting of many hot and heavy pots in order to move them from the center to the edges of the fire as they needed to either boil or simmer.  It was hard to do this without getting facefulls of smoke and/or singed.

We extracted dye from marigolds, logwood, brazilwood, calendula, daffodils, dandelions, onion skins, sumac, thai tea, hickory bark and sumac!   We actually made more than these, but I have forgotten the others – I am suffering information overload.

Have I mentioned how much I love this spinning guild?  That the women are all so multi talented and interesting?  Another great thing about the workshop – having so much time to spend working together and getting to know one another.