PollyAnn

I have recovered from my shock of yesterday.  I have been thinking a lot about what happened and what to do next.

My first impulse was to throw the f*cker out.  How gross was that story?  I had many comments telling me that that was indeed what I should do.  There is no amount of Tilex in the world to make this okay.

This morning however, I am having a brainstorm.

Normally when I find things that are the littlest bit close to being ‘antique’, I will not mess with them in anyway.  I bring them home and wash them off.  No paint – no nothing.  I use them as is.  I hate to take away from their intrinsic value.

This milkbox however will either be messed with or put into the trash.  I need to restore its value ….

Therefore, I propose to drill holes in the bottom, fill it with dirt and turn it into a planter! 

The more I think about this the better I like the idea.  At this point, the shit is cleaned out.  If I throw it away, someone else will discover it and have a ‘find’.  How disgusting would that be??  Some poor schmo coming along and seeing this ‘prize’ completely unaware of its history.  Perhaps even putting their hands into it?  eeewwww   

Furthermore, I have chamberpots in my house – on display no less.  I have paid money for these piss jugs.  I love them, I have more than one. I even put flowers in them and use them as a centerpiece on my dining room table!   So what if it’s antique piss?  does that make a difference?    well yes, it does …. but anyway ….

I have been through the worst of this, why not make some lemonade as it were?

Life handed me something with the shit already at the bottom — I’m planting geraniums baby!

ps.  don’t worry I haven’t completely lost my mind, this little fecal find will never make it past the front porch.

Main Entry: Pol·ly·an·na
Pronunciation:
"pä-lE-‘a-n&
Function: noun
Etymology: Pollyanna, heroine of the novel Pollyanna (1913) by Eleanor Porter †1920 American fiction writer
Date: 1921
: a person characterized by irrepressible optimism and a tendency to find good in everything
– Pollyanna adjective
– Pol·ly·an·na·ish /-‘a-n&-ish/ also Pol.ly.an.nish adjective

6 thoughts on “PollyAnn

  1. I just love that little bunny from yesterday…

    Anyway, geez, I never thought about the piss pots on the dining room table (sometimes seen on the auction block as “spaghetti pots”) — it’s different somehow.

    I will admit to briefly considering a planter. My thought was that it might be okay in a very remote spot — so remote, though, that it was given the boot.

    I dunno…

  2. Built in fertilizer!

    I still say trash the thing – pretty flowers or not – shit is shit.

    How about burying it in the backyard and planting flowers OVER it – give the soil a little boost….

  3. Keep the box w/ the flowers on your porch and everytime someone comes over to visit you have an interesting albeit gross conversational piece! LOL By the way, chamber pots didn’t just have piss in them. LOL Heck when are you going to post of photo of this infamous flower pot?

  4. Cara sent me over here cause I’m always talking about poop! Ha! Do you have a dog? Human excrement is in the most bizarre places. I know this only because my sicko dog finds all of it within a 400 yd radius of any walk we take. Sickers. The stories I have about human poop and that dang dog!

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