I have recovered from my shock of yesterday. I have been thinking a lot about what happened and what to do next.
My first impulse was to throw the f*cker out. How gross was that story? I had many comments telling me that that was indeed what I should do. There is no amount of Tilex in the world to make this okay.
This morning however, I am having a brainstorm.
Normally when I find things that are the littlest bit close to being ‘antique’, I will not mess with them in anyway. I bring them home and wash them off. No paint – no nothing. I use them as is. I hate to take away from their intrinsic value.
This milkbox however will either be messed with or put into the trash. I need to restore its value ….
Therefore, I propose to drill holes in the bottom, fill it with dirt and turn it into a planter!
The more I think about this the better I like the idea. At this point, the shit is cleaned out. If I throw it away, someone else will discover it and have a ‘find’. How disgusting would that be?? Some poor schmo coming along and seeing this ‘prize’ completely unaware of its history. Perhaps even putting their hands into it? eeewwww
Furthermore, I have chamberpots in my house – on display no less. I have paid money for these piss jugs. I love them, I have more than one. I even put flowers in them and use them as a centerpiece on my dining room table! So what if it’s antique piss? does that make a difference? well yes, it does …. but anyway ….
I have been through the worst of this, why not make some lemonade as it were?
Life handed me something with the shit already at the bottom — I’m planting geraniums baby!
ps. don’t worry I haven’t completely lost my mind, this little fecal find will never make it past the front porch.
Main Entry: Pol·ly·an·na
Etymology: Pollyanna, heroine of the novel Pollyanna (1913) by Eleanor Porter †1920 American fiction writer
: a person characterized by irrepressible optimism and a tendency to find good in everything
– Pollyanna adjective
– Pol·ly·an·na·ish /-‘a-n&-ish/ also Pol.ly.an.nish adjective